Conspiracy Theory

There is a secret ingrediant in the sauce of Totino's frozen pizzas that makes me:

A) achieve a state of zen where time and space cease to exist until every last slice is gone (I say slice assuming I have not created a pizza taco of goodness, of course);

B) eat so fast that I no longer need to drink or even breath while eating (unless inhaling pizza counts as breathing);

C) go into a cholestercoma, resulting in the oven running at 450 F for 9 hours (What?! I was cleaning the oven! Why'd you turn it off?!)